1. Have you ever done one of those genetics tests like “23 and me” or “Ancestry DNA?” What did you learn?
I did the Ancestry DNA thing. Turns out I’m a white guy 77% from England and 10% Scandinavian. Not really a surprise. My great-grandfather came over from England.
2. Do you have some family lore about your family heritage that is most probably just a tall tale?
Supposedly we are some sort of shirttail relatives to Butch Cassidy on the Larson side of the family but I have no way of verifying.
3. If a stranger came up to you and had to guess your heritage based on common stereotypes, what would they say?
Wow, you are sure white. There is little mystery to my origins, I suppose.
4. As you age and look in the mirror, what family member do you most reveal?
It used to be my mother but as I age I look more like my father.
5. If you go to pick your genetic heritage what traits or ancestry would you choose?
Make me taller and with bigger hands, please. That will do.
1. What’s the dumbest thing you ever cried over?
Getting a job layoff. There have been a couple in my career and each time, I have landed on my feet, but at the time it is quite emotional and tends to shed a tear.
2. What is the hardest you can ever remember laughing?
I have surrounded myself with lots of funny, funny friends but my answer would be times in college with my friends in the improv troop.
3. When was the last time you cried?
I am a pretty emotional guy and can cry at a good manipulative commercial. It was probably something like that.
4. What is your emotional rescue?
When I need to get focused and reset, I go to “Rosalita” – a live version by Springsteen.
5. Describe a new emotion you have just invented?
ennui mixed with schadenfreude – Ill call it muffined up.
1. What was the high school fad that, looking back makes you say “really?”
White teen boys with long hair and these ridiculous combs hanging out of their pockets:
2. What is a current fad that needs to go away?
Open acceptance of Neo-Nazis and Racists! We are now living in a time when talking heads are talking on television about whether someone is a Nazi or a Racist. if you have to have that discussion the answer is always both.
3. What isn’t a fad but probably should be.
Polite morning rush hour driving – you know, lot’s of
“No, dear citizen, after you”
“No after you!”
“Well thank you, dear chum.”
4. What’s your “in-Fad-uation?”
Linux. I love this thing. Popping open a command line and trying to get a computer to do something. All the kids should be doing it. (And in all honesty, many are.)
5. What is the opposite of a once popular fad?
Opposite of a fad:
Fad: watching Netflix
Opposite: Reading a book.
1. What instantly discourages you?
I am currently suffering from Trump Fatigue Syndrome and am exceedingly discouraged about the fate of our nation. A year ago, I thought all would be fine and we could rise above this anomaly. Now, I am beginning to think Trump is is getting pretty entrenched and normalized and that is scary.
2. If you could shoot anything (fire, pudding, etc.) from the palms of your hands at will, what would you shoot?
Sunflower seed butter, one of my newest favorite things that needs to be shared.
3. What two celebrities do you often confuse with each other?
Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton. Easier now because one is dead, I suppose.
4. What was the stupidest thing “that kid” did at your school?
We had too many years forlorn teenage love stories gone awry that ended in suicide. Stupid. Sad, but stupid.
5. What are you listening to right now?
SiriusXM Grateful Dead channel: 5.20.73 Santa Barbara.
1. Are you a good worker?
I was at my last job for 16 years with lots of promotions and additional responsibilities. So yeah, I guess folks who decide these kinds of things think I am a good worker.
2. What do you carry?
Wallet, cell phone, a Fitbit, usually about $40.00 in cash – and in my bag/car, a big ass knife.
3. Do you know your neighbors?
Across the hall yes. Other neighbors, no. but in the past, I have gotten to know my neighbors and a number of them are still friends today. Hi, Mark. Hi, Robert.
4. Where do you like to go for a day trip?
There is a nice quiet group of parks up above Morrison that belongs to the city of Denver along the river and they are very peaceful and quiet and a nice little getaway.
5. What is at your feet?
A cushy ottoman that has too many books piled on it. And I am wearing some fluffy slippers.
1. You have an extra $500 to frivolously spend each month, you cannot invest or save it, what do you spend it on?
All the California wine I can get my hands on before the prices go through the work.
2. What terrible alcoholic drinks did you try as a young adult?
19 years-old, one summer – way too many beers and tequila mixed together. This was way before tequiza, which is tequila flavored malt liquor. No this was the real thing and looking back I am amazed we could actually drink it.
3. You wake up, current age, and it’s 1974. What are you going to do with your day?
Invest in as many technology-based stocks as possible.
4. In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?
America, before the nukes, melted it.
5. You have one-chance to steal anyone’s talent. Who’s talent do you steal?
One of those porn stars with amazing oral sex skills.
1. What game have you spent the most hours playing?
Probably Suduko on my tablet. I can play for hours. And I am actually pretty good at it.
2. What is the most obscure/forgotten game from your youth that deserves more attention?
I recently recovered this gem is a recent move: Split Second, an early handheld video game that was absolutely great and part of a warm Christmas morning memory.
3. Without actually naming a game, what is your favorite game?
Two card decks, with limited cards, double up and then played in a fashion similar to spades. (Pinochle)
4. You are killed and Death lets you choose a game to challenge him at for another chance at life. What game do you choose?
Back to Suduko played on my tabled. On the “Hard” level, my record is 93 seconds. Take that Death!
5. What video game are you the most nostalgic about?
Atari’s Missile Command.
1. What was your favorite breakfast during childhood?
As a kid we always had farm fresh cream and eggs delivered. Quite often, so cereal we would have sweet cream the consistency of sour cream that we would plop atop our breakfast cereal and wash it down with orange juice. mmmmmmmm.
2. Why is a muffin considered a legitimate breakfast option but cake isn’t?
Blame Queen Victoria. When there is a weird menu selection that I can never understand I usually imagine was some odd favorite/standard from Queen Victoria.
3. What beverage do you typically drink with each of the 3 meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner)?
Breakfast: Coffee. Lunch: Iced tea. Dinner: A nice gin-based cocktail.
4. What is your favorite grownup breakfast cereal? And as a child?
Cheerios with some yogurt. As a kid, tough one but probably Sugar Smacks.
5. What’s the greatest breakfast food invention of all time?
The Breakfast Burrito. Yumm-O
1. What’s really stressing you out right now?
I am the king of the great procrastination. I moved into the new place over a month ago and most of the boxes strewn about are mine and I really need to finish unpacking.
2. What nice gesture actually bothers you?
The handshake that seems to come from nowhere. Hard to explain, but I interview a lot of people for jobs and most are so nervous they seem to foget some of the basics of etiquette and decorum and I end up shaking hands a couple of times.
3. What’s something people do that screams “I’m looking for attention?”
Big duel smokestack exhausts on a diesel pick up truck. Ugly.
4. What is your best example of ‘two kinds of people’?
Those who have Springsteen live and those who have not.
5. How are you trying to be a better version of you?
I am down about 8 pounds since starting the new job and have ditched any fast food breakfasts on the way to work.
1. The NFL season begins tonight. Do you follow football? If so, when did you start to follow the game?
I have absent mindfully followed football since a young boy. I remember going deer hunting with my dad and listening to Bronco games on AM radio in my early 8s and 9 years. I started really following it college when one of my roommates (Mr. Hunt) was a super sports fan and super Broncos fan and he explained many of the intricacies of the game.
2. Why do NFL teams get the title of ‘world champions’ when no other nationality competes?
3. If Americans started calling soccer “football” like the rest of the world, what would be a good name to replace American football.
4. In 10 words or less, explain American football to a foreigner.
Encapsulation of the American Spirit of try and try again
5. You can remove one rule from the NFL. What is it and what does it do to the game?
Video challenges of referee calls. It would speed up the game immensely.