Friday Fives

1. What was your favorite breakfast during childhood?
As a kid we always had farm fresh cream and eggs delivered. Quite often, so cereal we would have sweet cream the consistency of sour cream that we would plop atop our breakfast cereal and wash it down with orange juice. mmmmmmmm.

2. Why is a muffin considered a legitimate breakfast option but cake isn’t?
Blame Queen Victoria. When there is a weird menu selection that I can never understand I usually imagine was some odd favorite/standard from Queen Victoria.

3. What beverage do you typically drink with each of the 3 meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner)?
Breakfast: Coffee. Lunch: Iced tea. Dinner: A nice gin-based cocktail.

4. What is your favorite grownup breakfast cereal? And as a child?
Cheerios with some yogurt. As a kid, tough one but probably Sugar Smacks.

5. What’s the greatest breakfast food invention of all time?
The Breakfast Burrito. Yumm-O

Friday Fives

1. What’s really stressing you out right now?
I am the king of the great procrastination. I moved into the new place over a month ago and most of the boxes strewn about are mine and I really need to finish unpacking.

2. What nice gesture actually bothers you?
The handshake that seems to come from nowhere. Hard to explain, but I interview a lot of people for jobs and most are so nervous they seem to foget some of the basics of etiquette and decorum and I end up shaking hands a couple of times.

3. What’s something people do that screams “I’m looking for attention?”
Big duel smokestack exhausts on a diesel pick up truck. Ugly.

4. What is your best example of ‘two kinds of people’?
Those who have Springsteen live and those who have not.

5. How are you trying to be a better version of you?
I am down about 8 pounds since starting the new job and have ditched any fast food breakfasts on the way to work.

Friday Fives

1. The NFL season begins tonight. Do you follow football? If so, when did you start to follow the game?
I have absent mindfully followed football since a young boy. I remember going deer hunting with my dad and listening to Bronco games on AM radio in my early 8s and 9 years. I started really following it college when one of my roommates (Mr. Hunt) was a super sports fan and super Broncos fan and he explained many of the intricacies of the game.

2. Why do NFL teams get the title of ‘world champions’ when no other nationality competes?
‘Merika!!

3. If Americans started calling soccer “football” like the rest of the world, what would be a good name to replace American football.
Smash ball

4. In 10 words or less, explain American football to a foreigner.
Encapsulation of the American Spirit of try and try again

5. You can remove one rule from the NFL. What is it and what does it do to the game?
Video challenges of referee calls. It would speed up the game immensely.

The Friday Fives

1. What unimpressive thing are people stupidly proud of?
The size of their hands. Generally, it means nothing unless you are a professional typist.

2. What’s the best trick a passenger can do to get upgraded?
I travelled from Denver back to Germany in the Army once and I wore my dress uniform and got bumped to first class on a Lufthansa flight. That, friends, was some great flying. Hours and hours of first class bliss in the front row with all the leg room in the world. Next big flight, try that.

3. Americans who have visited Europe, what was your “WTF” moment?
Bidets and the very weird toilets in Germany – we usually referred to them as shit shelves – they are very low water and don’t have a pool of water waiting but instead intense water pressure that squirts the shit, literally, down the drain.

4. Americans, what is your WTF moment when traveling this great country?
Big, weird tourist attractions from the 1940s and 1950s that still exist – most are commemorated at DIA in the “America, Why We Love Her” installation. (I am certain I got that name wrong, but I am close.

5. Have you dropped everything and moved with nothing? How did that turn out? What advice do you have for someone wishing to do the same?
I moved to Denver from Craig with very little savings and no job. After some stumbles along the way, it was worth it.

Friday Fives

1. What isn’t nearly as dangerous as people think?
Generally available fireworks. It’s simple, wet down the lawn and don’t aim them at your eye.

2. What flaws do people often brag about?
Dating, bedding prowess. Sleeping with the entire town is not a strong character trait.

3. What is the loudest thing you’ve managed to sleep through?
I keep a lot of white noise going in my bedroom. A fan, humidifier and air purifier. But across the way outside there is an oxygen supply place and each morning they fill/empty their big truck tanks and I can usually hear it if I am still in bed around 8 am.

4. What’s the cringiest thing you’ve ever seen a person do in public?
In college, at timbers, this one kid was trying to impress his date and pulled his penis out under the table and coaxed her to look and touch Probably worse than unsolicited dick picks.

5. What’s the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Mr. Moose on Captain Kangaroo was real. (Although I was okay with the fact that Rabbit was a puppet.)

Friday Fives

1. What is the weirdest thing you’ve seen while in traffic?
On a monthly commute from Gunnison to Grand Junction for the army reserves and a stay with grandma, I found myself a couple of time behind a car where the driver had a magazine place on his steering wheel and he was getting a bit of reading done on the commute. This was before the rise of the internet and the advent of the cellphone – this was old school texting and driving

2. Add ‘ing’ to the end of a movie title, what is the movie about now?
Raiders of the Lost Arking about a search for a missing welder.

3. What is the funniest name you have actually heard used in the real world?
We now have an Attorney General named Beauregard. It would be funny if he wasn’t scary.

4. What is something that you absolutely hate waiting for?
Getting stuck in a drive thru line that is taking too long because the computer has crashed or they can’t take a credit card and you are trapped in the line and go forward, backward or get out of the line.

5. What game did you have an unhealthy addiction with at one point?
“2048” Google – it is family safe but you will never be same afterward. The next 3 or 4 months of your life will be lost.

Friday Fives

1. If you could quit your job and pursue your hobby full-time with financial security, what hobby would you pursue?
I will have to agree with Lono on this one, writing. I spent several years as a newspaper reporter at small town newspapers in the early to mid-1990s and loved every bit of it. I wish I had a better mentor in those days to help me past some of my foibles – but I did enjoy the writing, especially the feature pieces (not so much the hard news and chasing down tidbits of news from a city hall meeting) but a profile piece featuring interesting people in small town America was a lot of fun to write. Eventually, it was quite obvious I didn’t have the passion to pursue full-time journalism and moved on to call center management and much better paychecks, but I miss the writing.

2. What’s a hobby others have taken up that just baffles you?
Guns and gun culture. DOn’t need one, don’t understand it. I am not against guns and gun ownership, I just don’t get the religious like devotion to the cause.

3. What was your’s father’s hobby? Is it relevant now?
He was an avid woodworking and sometimes cabinet maker, spending hours and hours in the garage behind his table saw.

4. What is your mother’s hobby? Is it relevant now?
Quilting and gardening. Summers are about growing a vegetable harvest that she can “put up” in cans or freeze for the winter. Winter is about crafting a quilt or occasionally crocheting.

5. What do you imagine your favorite superhero or celebrity’s favorite hobby is?
Donald Trump likes to play with little toy soldiers in his own made up world of armed desktop warrior real estate where he always wins. Pew pew pew.

Friday Fives

Who dunnit?

The great questions that plague mankind. Bonus complication, only one-word answers… except you may expound on one (of your choice)

1. Did Oswald act alone to kill President Kennedy?
Yes.
That being said, there is always Delillo’s great book “Libra” that takes a fictional account of the events – a great read. As well as a strong conspiracy driven book concerning Nixon and E Howard Hunt’s involvement in the JFK assassination (that is incredibly speculative nonfiction but an interesting supposition – “Watergate: The Hidden History: Nixon, The Mafia, and The CIA.”

2. Did President Trump knowingly collude with Russia for assistance with his election?
Yes.
The man is not to be trusted and he will do anything to stay on top. He learned his game from Roy Cohn, one of the most ruthless Washington and NYC lawyers around and he surrounds himself with a group of felonious monks, tied to his survival.

3. Was Tony killed in the last episode of the Sopranos?
Yes
The unfilmed last scene was a gruesome mob hit.

4. Did OJ kill his ex-wife?
Yes

5. Amelia Earhart – captured, or crashed?
Crashed and dead, dead, dead.

Friday Fives

Rock star deaths

Another rock star died today, and by his own hand… again. It’s time to have the talk. The big talk. The one your dad was supposed to have with you when you were 12… but he was afraid to. So, instead he just told your mom that you two had ‘the talk’ and just bought you a Penthouse from that 7-11 over at 44th & Camelback? You know, ‘scary Larry worked there overnights?’ Dude was LEGEND, and would sell ciggies and Mickey’s Big Mouth beers to anyone as long as there were no other customers in the store.

Or… am I being too specific? So let’s just finally have that ‘talk’. The ‘talk’ about rock stars dying.

1. Kurt Cobain – do you think Courtney was involved?

No, I don’t. This guy was a fucked up, depressed addict and he killed himself Next?

2. The ’27 club’, think it’s a real thing, or just a perfect example of confirmation bias?

Confirmation bias and the result of (see abovel applied to a famous too soon crowd.

3. What’s your favorite rock star death? I know that’s a sick question… let me rephrase it ‘what is the most interesting death… to you’?

The deaths of the Big Bopper, Buddy Holly and Richie Valens – The Day The Music Died. We almost lost Waylon on that one. What would have become of Outlaw Country without him? Not to mention the lovely narration of the Dukes of Hazard

4. What rock star death hit you the hardest?

Prince, probably. Didn’t see that one coming.

5. Who is the rock star that you are most surprised isn’t dead? Difficulty challenge – other than Keith Richards. Don’t be so obvious, man!

Using Mr. Richards as the gauge – i go with Iggy Pop. He has lived pretty hard and I am surprised he is still alive. A lot of the 1970s and 1980s punk stars still breathing tend to amaze me.

Questions via Lono

The Friday Fives

1. How many of you still read books for entertainment?
Thank the heavens for Kindle technology – I always a book I am reading and sometimes two or three (an old throwback to my English Lit days in college when I had several books I was assigned to read at any given time.)

2. What is that one book you just could NOT put down while you were reading it?
Neal Stephenson’s SevenEves. It was a door stop of a book, coming in over a thousand pages but a great “what if” science fiction thriller? Maybe not a thriller as it’s intended to also be a think piece. What would happen to Earth if the Moon was destroyed.

3. what book are you currently reading?
“Friday’s at Enrico’s” by Don Carpenter and Jonathan Lethem. Based on notes, outlines and a first draft, Lethem wrapped up Carpenter’s unfinished tale of life in Portland and San Fransisco writers’ communities in the late 1950s and 1960s. It’s great.

4. What book absolutely blew your mind?
I still can’t stop thinking about “Dune” which I read in high school and a couple of times since then.

5. If you died today and the last text you received was written on your tombstone, what would it say?
“Great job! I was @ 1:20 this am as I got a Lil bit stuck for a 2nd and had to go back and correct something.” Commenting on yesterday’s NYTimes Mini Crossword.